She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
