Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
