yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
