You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
