Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
