I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
