3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Damn victory sex feels great
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