It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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