we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
