You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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