oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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