If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Randomize
