She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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