So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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