Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
