O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
