pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
