I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
