Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
it was like eating out sand paper
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
