I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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