He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
