I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
