And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
