I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
