btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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