Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
