Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
