he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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