like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
