I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
