what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
