WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
