Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
