I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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