I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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