did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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