He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
