you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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