Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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