WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Randomize
