Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
