is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
two words: eviction party
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
