Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
