I just threw up on my dentist
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
