the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
