i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
wow bdsm is so cute
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
