Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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