I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
