Whod you bang
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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