Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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