This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
