he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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