farters have to be the big spoon...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
