Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
