I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
