Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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